Tuesday, July 29, 2008

new poem, i was pissed.

You people sicken me
July 21



i am so tired
of not being able
to arange my feelings
into an orderly fashion.

mixed-up
jumbles,
blunders,
and fumbles

i hate how
i feel so selfish
telling you
to give people chances, if only for me

i hate how
i feel so selfish
asking for time
with a friend who's forgotten this painted on wall-flower

it makes me sick
to think of
how i portray myself
even on accident

it makes me sick
to think of
the fact that
i can't even control myself

my innards churn
at the thought
that people could care less
about me.

i feel like hurling butterflies
when i see your face
looking at mine
with no given sympathy

i pity you people.

i pity you irrational,
selfish,
judgemental,
attention-seeking,
awkward,
hypocritical
people.

i'm dissappointed in you.
i'm dissappointed in you people who could care less.
i'm dissappointed in you people who think that you are all that matters.
i'm dissappointed in you people who don't give others chances.

every day,
i just long more and more
to get away from here,
from this narcissist-inhabited place.

how many days
will it take
for you to just
drive me away?

apparently, you don't want me to stay.

1 comment:

Samantha Alice said...

"hurling butterflies"... how very descriptive.

Ugh. I can remember these feelings... I hope, even if you don't like having to ask for the things that matter to you, that you never forget how to speak up for yourself.

And, Honey, feelings simply aren't "orderly." They're primitive and primal, and we can't control them. All we have to learn to do is how to control our reactions and choices we make because of the feelings.

I love you, Princess HNMBSTYSBotW...